break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
