I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
