She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
