hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Randomize
