somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
