obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
