think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
