Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Randomize
