I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
