Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
