What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
