winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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