My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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