it wasn't lemon gatorade
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
