she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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