did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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