my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
