you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
