Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
