There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
What a dumb baby whore.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
