he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
