Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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