In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize