hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
