Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i drank out of a bidet.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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