I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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