Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
