when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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