just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
