Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
