I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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