he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize