I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
