Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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