i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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