Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
