At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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