I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
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