one two three fourrrrnication!
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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