Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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