so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize