I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
