i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
