I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
