Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
