GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize