Sry I called you an 8
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
