no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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