thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
