Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
