My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
