someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
