I got chris browned last night
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
