Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
