in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
