I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
This girl is more easily done than said...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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