Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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