do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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